A Little Piece of Heaven in the Mountains of Southern Baja

With big dreams, our friends, a great couple from Truckee, CA, bought this rancho up in the mountains about 35 minutes from us. I love dreamers, especially when they act on their dreams like Gene and Brenda did.

These friends aren’t here right now; they are back in Truckee working. I don’t know anyone who has gone up there recently, and Greg and I have been wondering what the rancho looks like after the hurricane. So many trees around us were stripped clean when Odile came through. We haven’t had time to go up and check because we’re so busy with our own clean-up, getting things fixed for a few of our neighbors, and now we are rebuilding our palapa.

The last time we visited their rancho, named La Cuesta Farms, it was so beautiful. (I hope it still is). The drive to the mountains was fun in our little, red Ranger.

???????????????????????????????

This is the Ranger, but not on the day we went to the rancho.  This was on the way to surf one day. Surfboard on top!

 

They have lots of old mango trees, citrus, ciruela plums, other fruits as well as flowers and a garden. The rancho includes a couple of outbuildings, an outdoor kitchen and a well on the property that serves a few other ranchos in the vicinity.  The cacophony of sounds you hear are of the goats and cows nearby, plus the mountain breezes shaking the leaves in the trees that are always alive with chirping birds. Two little kitties greeted us with very loud meows. The neighbors were feeding them while Gene and Brenda were not there, but the kittens were happy to have some human company I guess. We brought our lunch and after a tour we sat down to eat. Funny how food tastes better in the mountains.

 

P1150019

Sweet and Rustico

P1150007

P1150095

P1150059

P1150016

P1150038

We are hoping La Cuesta Farms is okay after the hurricane. It is a sweet spot tucked in the mountains in Southern Baja.

P1150054

mangos 4

Mango Tree Heavy with Fruit

 

P1150065

Many months ago, Brenda, Greg and I went up there on another beautiful day and I took a lot of pictures. The mangoes weren’t ripe yet, but they were hanging heavy in the trees. Same with the ciruela plums. The plums are tiny, have large stones (pits) in them and are green on the tree. After you pick them, some varieties turn yellow, some red. You need a lot of plums to make jam! When the time was right, the picking began. Brenda saved a bunch for us and I had so much fun cooking them down, making agua fresco and jam. The aroma of the fruit filled the room, and it got steamy and sticky in the kitchen! That’s half the fun, right? It was all totally worth the effort (work!) it took to remove the pits and skin. I have a lot of pulp saved in my freezer for making more jam.

DSCN4685

Ciruela Tree (in foreground)

Ciruela Tree with Plums

Ciruela Tree with Plums

P1150105

Ciruelas– no leaves on the tree when the fruit is on.

ciruelos amarillo

Ripe Ciruelos Amarillos

ciruelas rojo

Ripe Ciruelas Rojos

agua de ciruelas--with ice it's agua fresco

Agua de ciruelas–chilled and served with ice it’s agua fresco!

Cooking Down for Jam

Cooking Down for Jam

jam

Ciruela Jam is so Yummy!

P1150056

A Little Piece of Heaven

Baja is a lot more than desert and beaches, as you can see. The tropical storms and hurricanes may come and go, but we’re staying.

P1140852

When I Come to You

D's rose

When I come to you

with tears that fall and

splatter to the ground,

you hold me close

and declare to my heart that

“Everything will be all right.”

 

When I come to you

with worries that break

the spell of our love,

you whisper love’s remedies

to help me recognize that

“Everything will be all right.”

 

When I come to you

with laughter that resounds

in your world miles away,

you laugh with me and fill

my heart with knowing that

“Everything will be all right.”

 

 

When I come to you

with hopes and dreams of us

together for eternity,

you hold me close revealing

love’s secrets so that I may grasp

“Everything will be all right.”

 

Donsie's rose

Saying Good-by

plumerias

 

There is a soft sweetness in the leaving

And though the fog of Alzheimer’s prevails

There glows a definite grace in the

Silence of Steve’s eyes.

Seeing the funny unexpected grin

That replaces his empty stare

I want to believe I see

A tiny sliver of remembrance

One day passes; another begins

As I struggle for the words

To parcel out the memories

Helping me to say good-bye

I witness his vacant, tender gaze

Those soft, smacking lips

That seem to be chewing

The last vestiges of his life

And so I find myself hovering around his

Bedside, adjusting his blankets

And spooning thickened liquids

Carefully into his anxious baby-bird mouth

For my stepdad, William K. Stephens–“Stevie”

Before and After

I thought people might like to see some pre and post Hurricane Odile pictures from our house and nearby beaches. Like I’ve said before, the landscapes have changed. It’s encouraging to see how things are coming back already and we have only to wait awhile and we’ll be back to where we were. It’s all good for us. We are having a new palapa built, and doing some things a bit differently of course to make the posts stay up. The actual palapa stayed together really well.

 

 

 

IMG_0193

Banana trees  & carport before

Almost grown enough to start producing bananas.

Almost grown enough to start producing bananas.

Morning after

Morning after

 

Back yard with foxtail palm before

Back yard with foxtail palm before

Foxtail palm after

Foxtail palm after

Washingtonian and coco palms before

Washingtonian and coco palms before

Washingtonian and coco palms after

Washingtonian and coco palms after

Traveler's palms & areca palm before

Traveler’s palms & areca palm before

Traveler's palms & areca palm after

Traveler’s palms & areca palm after

P1150705

Traveler’s palm after

green fence email copy

Passion fruit vine “green fence” before

IMG_0248

Passion fruit vines after

Hacienda Boutique Hotel Cerritos

Los Cerritos beach before

IMG_0599

Los Cerritos beach after

The beach in front of our house before

The beach in front of our house before

The evening before the storm arrived!

The beach in front of our house the evening before the storm arrived! Sweet, clear ocean water.

P1150670

The beach in front of our house the morning after! See how dirty the water is.

Oh, and it’s my 68th birthday today. So I’m going to throw in some before and after of me too. I have a hard time looking in the mirror these days, but I am grateful for every day and having another birthday is definitely a blessing. Funny how in my mind I’m still young! Got to stay away from that mirror, so my mind can stay focused on the me it thinks I am. Ha ha! The day after the storm was the 50th high school reunion in San Diego. I did not go, obviously, but I hear it was fun. It might have been nice to see that all those other people are wrinkled and falling apart too. Or maybe not. Anyway, like I said, I am so grateful for each and every day I get to be here. Amen!

My brother, Ronnie, me, and Mom, shortly after my birth.

My brother, Ronnie, me, and Mom, shortly after my birth.

3 years old

My birthday at 3 years old, making a goofy face! I’m so excited about my new doll house. (I started out a blond).

Ballerina Susie

I used to be a ballerina!

High School Graduation

High School Graduation…brunette years!

Photo on 9-25-14 at 9.43 AM

Dripping with sweat after a walk. Happy 68th birthday to me.

The last picture is undoubtedly not the most flattering picture of me. So I want you to know it takes a lot of guts to include this. My hair is a mess and I’m not feeling so good with the heat and all. And for those of you who may not know, I do not color my hair. This is what 68 years and high humidity has done to it. 🙂

Whispering

 

When you want to get attention from your students, when nobody in your class is listening to you, just lower your voice to a whisper. Look someone right in the eye and begin whispering. It’s your lecture, but now you’re whispering it to someone and suddenly everyone wants to hear what you are saying. As if it is a secret you are only sharing with the one you are making eye contact. Ha ha. Good trick. It only works once or twice with the same raucous crowd though.

I guess most people try to hear others when they are whispering. Whisperers make funny faces when they are trying to be heard only to a choice one or two. They exaggerate their silent words making their mouths look peculiar. Their eyes get big and the animation is amusing. But it’s the whispering that gets the attention first.

Mom and I were whispering to each other in front of Steve, my stepfather, her husband of 30 years. He had Alzheimer’s and we thought he was sleeping. His hospital bed was next to Mom’s normal one. We were able to keep him at home, with visits from the hospice team, and all the meds he needed to be administered by us or the nurse who came regularly. Anyway, we thought he was sleeping. Suddenly he shouted, “What are you two whispering about?” The tone of his voice sounded angry. Actually I don’t even remember what we were whispering about; that’s not the point. We were only trying not to wake him.

It was one of those moments when we were brought down to our foundations regarding the strangeness and the inconsistencies of that horrible condition named after the scientist, Alzheimer. Just as suddenly as my stepdad boomed his question, he was lost in a world we weren’t a part of, never hearing our response, or possibly forgetting he’d even asked the question. Alzheimer’s is a sad and strange way to go. All Mom and I could do was look at each other for relief; just one of the many times we sought solace in each other’s eyes.

But by this time, Steve didn’t even know who we were most of the time. Well, that isn’t altogether true. Sometimes he would call me by name, or something close to my name, but he always remembered who Mom was. He called her “his sweetie.” He would look over at her and smile and say, “Hi Sweetie.” To the end we felt he knew who his sweetie was. They were together when he passed.

It’s such an old tradition to lay the deceased body out for viewing. I don’t know anyone who professes to like this tradition, but it somehow carries on. As people gathered into the “viewing” room, I watched them looking uncomfortable as they timidly went to the casket. Or maybe it was my own feeling of unease that I projected onto their demeanors.

I made my own way over eventually ready to say goodbye and I stood staring at the ghost of Steve who was in the casket. We had him in his favorite red shirt and his turquoise tie he loved so much (see picture), and because he always carried his glasses in a case in his front shirt pocket, we tucked them in as well. It’s obvious that the “real” Stevie wasn’t there, but I repeated the farewell I’d given him when he was sleeping in his hospital bed in his own bedroom two months before: “Thank you for loving and caring for my mother, for being a wonderful stepdad, and such a loving and fun grandfather to my boys.” Touching his arm, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, leaned in and whispered, “I love you, Stevie, and I’ll miss you.”

Susie & Steve on Lake Andrita

Stevie and me, a very long time ago…

 

Three Weeks After Hurricane Odile

Dealing with the Aftermath of Hurricane Odile

The heat and humidity is so bad that I find myself dreaming of a windy, rainy, gray day in the Pacific Northwest as a happy thing. Who woulda thunk it? It’s been in the upper 80s and lower 90s with 78% plus humidity for months. No relief. It doesn’t do any good to take a shower when you come out as wet as you were a mere two minutes after you dry off.

After the hurricane, the bugs exploded in numbers unimaginable. Unless you’ve experienced this you can’t appreciate how bad it is. Picture yourself dripping with sweat and a black cloud of bugs swarming your entire body. When we attempt to work in the yard (it really needs work), before much of anything gets accomplished, we surrender and run to the house to get under a fan. You may find it inappropriate for an English teacher to say, but IT SUCKS.

We drove our little Polaris Ranger to San Pedrito Point to check its condition and see if there was any surf. What a sad sight. The entire beach is littered with debris—some of it organic, some plastic, or other litter. The tide was high and pushed up close to the houses nestled there. We had to pick our way through the decaying trees and cactus that came down the arroyos along with lots of rubbish. It covers the beach. You see very little sand. It’s not a pretty sight like it was pre-hurricane, that’s for sure. I didn’t have my camera with me today, or I would include a picture. A picture is worth more than a thousand words in this case.

A few days after the tormenta changed our landscapes, I took pictures of the Los Cerritos beach where my husband usually surfs. I’ll include some of those. I’m guessing it will be a least a year before it gets even close to a normal beach scene. I haven’t heard any rumblings about the local government coming in to remove the debris and cart it off somewhere out of sight. If we were in the USA you can bet it would be taken care of. The area was hit so hard though. The people who used to have shelter are still the main concern. Power is being restored with a massive effort from all over Mainland Mexico. CFE (power company) trucks from as far away as Chiapas have come to the aid of Baja. The numbers of trucks and men working is an awe-inspiring sight for all of us who are here. Poco a poco—little by little—people work to get back to some normalcy.

IMG_0599

 

IMG_0615

 

The beach in front of our own house is the prettiest one around. It has lots of organic matter too, but right in front of us there are places that resemble pre-hurricane days. No surf though, as it is still a beach break. Sometimes we can get in a quick swim. The water must be 80 degrees, so it isn’t as refreshing as it could be, but hey! I’m not complaining. It’s the only place that doesn’t look polluted right now. I suppose looks can be deceiving, so we shower and rub our skin with towels after a dip. You never know.

 

IMG_0523

We staked up all our trees and righted the things that were down. Some made it. Others didn’t. Our passion fruit vines will come back, (I hope) and we have a chance to prune them if the bugs would only cooperate and go somewhere else for an hour or two. We get a little cranky trying to work in the heat with bugs galore. A little cranky? Probably more like a lot cranky!!!

 

What we wouldn’t give for a day in the 70s with a nice, light ocean breeze, lazing in one of our hammock chairs under the little palapa on the upper deck. Ah, and topped off with a glass of limonada con hielo. (iced lemonade). Now wouldn’t that be a little piece of heaven?

 

IMG_0746

My upstairs deck!

 

IMG_0748

Limonada…just what the doctor ordered!

 

A Heart

A Heart is More than a Muscle Pumping Blood

A heart supplies us with our sense of being.

Who are you really? Your heart can tell you,

As you allow your heart to be amply filled

With empathy, love, a rich store of happy endings,

With mysteries, wishes, and steadfast devotion.

                                ******

Oh, please do be mindful of the hearts of others, and

Seek a heart that’s strong and full of light.

Teach your heart to welcome every moment

Of love, of disappointment, of compassion, of laughter.

Don’t worry! It can take whatever you give it because

                                ******

A Heart is More than a Muscle Pumping Blood

A Heart is More

Digging Holes to Bury the Demons

I’ve been sober since April of 1979, which is a little over 35 years. Sometimes I feel angry, resentful, and bitter about being the one person in a group who can’t have a drink. I dislike parties. It isn’t any fun to be around people who have had a few too many. I don’t know why I sometimes get resentful. Succumbing to the Devil (alcohol) has never done anything good for me. That’s why I quit. It was either alcohol or me, and I wanted desperately to win. So, like I said, it’s been over 35 years since I’ve had any alcohol. I don’t even take Niquil. 

Remembering the things I did that make me ashamed brings on Guilt. (I’ve capitalized guilt because it is almost like a person to me). I don’t dwell on Guilt very often anymore, but when I do, the struggle is sometimes overwhelming. Then Depression comes to call. It gets ugly. However, I am tough, and I will not allow the Devil, Guilt or Depression to win. And besides, most of the time I am happy and satisfied with myself and my life. But once in a while…

I know. I know. I’m not a drinker any longer. I’ve been sober for a longer time than I was a drunk. A therapist once told me to think of it this way, “This happened. Now what?”

I wrote the following piece almost four years ago. We’d only been living in Baja for a month. Today I am feeling a lot better. I haven’t had a bout like this one since the day I penned this. 

…………….

12-8-2010

Let’s face it. Math is not easy for me, and I have struggled with it forever.  But fighting my way through math problems seems trite and inconsequential when I consider the many times I have entered the ring to combat my own demons. In a whirl of my own fists, and the tangle of my own limbs, I am clawing at my heart. Repeatedly, I tear myself down, only to fill my lungs with breath enough to force my legs to stand again. Certainly, I have come out stronger for having this combat with myself, but I am so exhausted with the energy it takes, and I want to lead myself down the hallway to a safer place.

Okay, slow down. Take it easy. But it’s just not that simple and sometimes I don’t know how to slow down or take it easy.  What I know how to do, what I have always done, is to close my eyes, imagine digging a big hole, and burying whatever the hell it is that’s bothering me.  Put it neatly down into that pit. How nice. No need to wrap it up, or put a bow on it. Just toss it down the hole and forget it. It tumbles down so easily. Now cover it with the dirt from the hole and the job is done. Out of sight, out of mind.

As I brush the imaginary muck from my hands, I know I will be back to dig it up later when I least expect to be there. The timing is always wrong. Oh yes, I’ll go down there and get it again and the fighting with myself will start all over— when I should be living happily ever after, licking the ice cream that’s running down the cone.  You’d think that after all these years, all these crazy, upside down years, I’d learn. Instead, my theme song has been, “Beat my head against the wall, do dah, do dah,” and I’m just getting better at carrying that tune!

While I try to make some sense of all this, I remember a time in junior high when I saw Psycho. It was a shocking movie for its time. I remember one scene so vividly. I watch the crazed arm that holds the knife. I see it slash the woman in the shower, and terrified, I stare at the blood pool as it flows into the drain. The poor woman grabs the white shower curtain and slides down so slowly into the tub. The movie is in black and white, but her blood pours red. I see it. It swear it is red.

The horror of this scene stayed with me, and like many others who saw it, I was too frightened to take a shower for a long time after that. Only a bath would do. Every noise, real or imagined, sent my heart pounding and I just knew he was coming after me. There is something pure and simple about fright like that. It’s there, it’s horrible, and it is hard to take. But, it’s not real, and you know it. The awful fright fades, finally leaves, and you can breathe again.  The relief of it being over feels so good. Or is it over? When I least expect it, something triggers that memory and I’m in junior high at the movies again.

This is how it is with my hole-digging and demon-burying ritual. Something will trigger a memory and I’m once again visiting that hole where my devil is a coward hiding in a bottle. “Come. Swallow me. You know you want me,” he whispers. I see the promise in his eyes and feel the warmth of his elixir on my lips. Again and again, I am living with the memory of those dark days when I was a drunk, in a hell of my own making.

And so it was that the first five years of sobriety were the hardest. My burden then was to bury my demon every day. Surprisingly, Guilt served a useful purpose at first. But soon His demands also became unbearable. The longer I avoided the devil’s liquid lies, the stronger was Guilt’s hold. Once a proud and reliable talisman, he became my worst tormenter. I became obsessed with this irony. I’ve been digging them up, my demons. I keep revisiting the awful truth, the pain, the guilt, and the experience becomes so real to me. I want to stop myself. Dig an even bigger hole and bury my burden of guilt deeper still.  It’s all so ludicrous to be fighting myself this way.

Sitting in the Baja sun, feeling the breeze against my face, this breeze that tosses my grey hair into my eyes and mouth, I imagine my life without the dance at the edge of all those holes. Surely, my original assertion—I’ve learned and grown stronger in direct relation to those many bouts—is my own bitter, sweet truth. It is my truth to embrace, to wrap around my shoulders, a truth to relish as I once relished my own youth.

Putting an end to my insane ceremonial, cerebral act is the reward I seek. I must be strong enough to satisfy purposeful growth while rallying enough magic to eliminate such powerful and debilitating hurt. After all, this is the game of my own making. I long for the courage to change the rules. Guilt, the most fearful and powerful of all my torments, is residing in my one remaining hole, and it is my very own arm that holds the knife that haunts me.

Sitting on the beach with the reflection of the gold hotel on the water, I beg the sun to bake into my heart an understanding and acceptance so sweet that I may stand taller and move with the quickness and strength required to dig up the worst of my demons, face him, fight him, and walk away to claim victory. I seek redemption. Every night, in the quiet time before I succumb to sleep, the question hovers in the doorway: Will these self-inflicted wounds forever bleed? Looking down, I see blood swirling at my feet, and I reach desperately for the white curtain to break my fall.

Two Weeks Later…

Two weeks after the hurricane and we are still in the thick of cleaning up. Greg and I have washed most of our bigger windows and our sliding glass doors. The yard is looking pretty darn good, considering. My German shepherd and I walk the beach in the morning. I throw the ball for her and she is in absolute heaven. We allow the ocean to charge right up to us and we run and splash together. The sun is out in full force and the blue of the ocean has replaced the brown guck that it was after the storm.

IMG_0603

 

IMG_0501

Something close to a miracle has happened in Todos Santos. I saw it a few days after the storm and it was an unbelievable mess of organic matter, like plants and trees, littering the streets and houses. Other debris was heaped here and there. Most of the palapa roofs were a mess beyond repair or completely gone. Houses and cars were smashed by falling trees. But two weeks later it looks like a nice little town again. People are starting to sit together on their porches again and the little park in town is alive with children and parents.

It is my hope Todos will regain its charm and its lure. Those who desire a luxurious vacation may decide to go elsewhere. But for those who have always loved Todos Santos, I think there is still enough of it to love. The Hotel California and La Casa Toda, for example, are ready for business as usual. For the shop owners and the people who work in them, I am hopeful. On a selfish level I wouldn’t mind it being a bit more quiet this coming “high season”—November-April. But I have a feeling the Mexicanos will move on with a shrug and a smile. A hardy people, the natives of this area.

Restaurants are opening up again, now that the government has provided the town with power. It is impressive to see how much has been done in such a short time. Some dear friends of ours are taking us out to my favorite restaurant, La Casita, in TS tomorrow night to have an early celebration for my birthday. True to form, we continue to see life as something to celebrate. It makes my heart sing to see the happy faces of my neighbors in light of all they’ve been through.

My friend, Stephanie, came over a couple days ago and we took some time to just sit and visit. It was the nicest afternoon I’ve had in a long time. The sweet view from my outdoor living area is my (healing) cactus and palm trees and just beyond is the ocean. The waves keep pounding on the shore. The birds are back in the cactus and the trees and believe me, they have plenty to eat. It is unbelievable how many insects there are. I’m overwhelmed with the numbers.

We went over to our neighbors’ house for a pot luck dinner Firday night in honor of one of our young friend’s 42nd birthday. There were seven adults and two children enjoying the evening together—sharing stories of our experience during and after the storm. Laughing and commiserating with one another, we begin to get back to normal. When it was time for blueberry cobbler, we all sang Happy Birthday to Marc, and it reminded me of what is really important: sharing with others—marking special occasions and moving on with our lives.

The Mexicans here have a saying: Vive la paz—Live the peace. We can make our own peace, can’t we? We can do it together. Find joy in little things and share our talents and our strengths with others who are important to us. Let’s keep our loved ones close in our hearts. Let’s live the peace.

 

i_fotografias-del-concurso-vive-la-paz-puerta-de-ingreso-a-bolivia-seran-expuestas-en-el-torino_5098

Hurricane Odile–Dealing with the Aftermath

I’ve been in wind storms in the Pacific Northwest many times. I think every November we had high winds of 75mph or more, and I remember one particular Thanksgiving that it was so bad we were without power for a week. Old growth fir and cedars fell like match sticks. I had just put a nicely stuffed turkey in the oven when the wind and rain came and changed everything. That turkey had to be thrown out. One of our fir trees fell precariously close to our house.

But never have I experienced a full-blown (pun intended) hurricane. Hurricane Odile came to Baja Sur (Southern Baja) where I live on September 14, 2014. When it finally hit us, it was labeled a category 3. That means we had sustained winds of 135-150 mph. It hit land in Los Cabos (San Jose del Cabo and Cabo San Lucas) at 22.52 north latitude 109.56 west longitude. It made landfall just south of us.  El Gavilan neighborhood where we live is at 23.20 north latitude and 110.13 west longitude, so we got it bad. The Spanish word for hurricane is hurican, and the Spanish word for storm is tormenta. That’s what this hurricane has been. A torment.

Many times during the night I thought the glass doors and windows were going to give way, and we ran from door to door in our valiant attempt to bolster them. That was in between sopping up the water in every room of the house. It was so scary. The wind blasted, reverberated, resounded, raved, thundered and roared on through the whole of the night, bringing with it a torrent of water. We stayed up all night long during Odile’s “visit” because every window in our house leaked. The high speed wind and rain meant that we had 2” of water in every room of our house, and all night during the tormenta, we battled the water. It was 83 degrees in the house, even in the wee hours, and we were as wet as our floor, dripping sweat as we worked with towels and mops, a floor squeegee and our trusty little shop vac.The two of us did the best we could. Finally around 4:30 AM, we could do no more. The rain was letting up and so we fell into bed, totally exhausted. But we didn’t sleep very long. At 6:00AM we were up, back to work. Around 8:00AM we ventured outside to survey the damage.

Things had collapsed, crumbled, buckled, sagged, given way, crashed, and fallen into pieces. In our area, many old growth cardon cactus, some possibly as old as three thousand years, couldn’t take it. Now they are broken into pieces and sprawled onto the ground.

IMG_0461

IMG_0253

 

Our house is made from block and there is a lot of tied steel (rebar) cemented inside those courses of block. Thank the powers that be! I vividly remember the Mexican man who tied our steel, Burrito (his name is really Jose), telling me that our house was made to be muy fuerte (very strong). Thank you, Burrito. You did a good job. Mi Casa es muy fuerte, and we are some of the lucky ones. Some of the paint peeled off one small section of our overhang over the back door. We lost our beautiful tropical plants, our “green fence” of passion fruit vines, and some cactus. Our palms look like they’ve been through a hurricane!

IMG_0251

IMG_0248

Power poles and electric wires are lying all over the area.

IMG_0680While many rely on conventional electricity, we have a great solar system, so we have not been without power. When it is cloudy we have to use our generator to help to keep the batteries charged, but we are happy to have put in such a nice solar system. Many others who have solar power, lost their panels when the  sheer force of blasting wind lifted them off their roofs and blew them to smithereens. Our panels were spared.

Looks like our outdoor shower needs a shower! P1150703

The large palapa carport (made from palo de arco sticks and palm leaves) we had in front of our garage is gone. The leaves held together well, but the hurricane pulled the huge support beam right out of the wall and then the cement post gave way as the whole thing fell onto our two cars. Until the palapa was taken away, we couldn’t go anywhere even if we wanted to. It took Greg two and one half days to get the whole thing taken apart. He is my hero. He did this exhausting work in 80-90 degree heat with 78% humidity, mosquitos and flies attacking him, dirt raining down on him from the leaves, and a sore back from a surfing accident three weeks ago. I helped as much as I could, but he did it mostly on his own, and we made two big piles of the good sections. Some happy news is that we were able to help others less fortunate with our labor and our palm leaf sections. Greg made two trips in our pickup, pulling our trailer, to haul the good sections to Todos Santos, and he was able to deliver them to three different families who lost their roofs. Now they can rebuild them and get roofs back over their heads. Donating like this makes all of us happy.

IMG_0240

It’s been ten days now since we experienced the biggest hurricane Baja Sur has had in 98 years. I’ve got to say that I never imagined the devastation Mother Nature could bring. I remember seeing photos of Katrina and the damage done by her. Photos don’t tell the whole story. They do give you some sense of the suffering that comes from high winds and rain that a hurricane brings, but merely viewing pictures is the easiest way to experience such a natural disaster. Being in the thick of it is another thing altogether, and not one I’m eager to repeat.

The pueblos of Todos Santos and El Pescadero are mostly destroyed. Todos is (was) a town that draws a lot of artists and tourists. El Pescadero is about 10 miles farther south (where we live) and is more of a farming community. Both towns lost their baseball stadiums, and were without power and water. There was a huge coming together of neighbors helping neighbors work with clean-up. The military came to maintain order and brought food staples for distribution to anyone who needed them. We watched about a hundred people accepting little bags filled with flour, rice, dried beans, oil, and sugar. Most people use propane for cooking, so propane has been an issue too. But I don’t think anyone has gone hungry, what with the distribution from the army and neighbors’ generosity. Yes, there was a 10:00PM curfew imposed and there were some seedy characters looking to take what didn’t belong to them, but they were definitely in the minority.

 

 

The President of Mexico, Pedro Nieto, visited and made promises he has been keeping. Truck after truck has come from mainland Mexico on the ferry and traversed the rest of the way here to help with restoring electricity. Within a week they set up a bunch of huge generators for a make-shift power plant in Todos. It took ten days to get the same for El Pescadero, but now our little town has power too. Both towns are being cleaned up; it’s a government and community effort. It lifts our hearts to see how fast it is happening.

The government closed all the restaurants for health reasons. Without refrigeration for so long it was a concern that people would get sick from the unrefrigerated food. Dengue fever is a concern because of the mosquito problem, and we can only hope there will be some spraying in the stagnant pools to eliminate the nasty pests. Dengue fever is dangerous, can be fatal at its worst, and causes extreme pain at its least. There is no cure for it; if it doesn’t kill you, it has to run its course, which can take anywhere from two weeks to two months or more, depending on the strain.

The airport in Los Cabos was completely destroyed, the wreckage is unbelievable. Many of the roads in Baja Sur are fractured, cracked, torqued, and split. The dirt roads were pretty bad to begin with, but now many of those are simply impassable. A river rushed through them.

IMG_0298Some highway sections have given way making driving more difficult. I cannot tell you first-hand anything about Cabo or San Jose. We have been told things that make us sad. We’ve heard that Costco was completely wiped out by looters. I can understand when people’s homes have been destroyed and they are in need of food and water, but they are stealing more than groceries. They take jewelry, televisions and appliances; whatever Costco offers for sale was taken.

As we haven’t had much in the way of phone service and we have no internet, the news has been hard to come by. I was able to get into Todos Santos and go to a restaurant that has wifi, but the restaurant was closed. So a bunch of us sat on the sidewalk and were able to use our laptops for a few minutes. I was able to read and send a few emails before I just couldn’t stand the bugs a minute longer, but I found out from an email that my internet service won’t be back for a month. Everything was blown away. Except the bugs. Being incommunicado is strange after living in this age of technology for so long. I realize that I have become complacent, taking it for granted. I have new appreciation for such luxuries.

 

If you drive around here, you may think there is a new trend of having your plants lean to one side, or completely have a lie-down. Cesar, the guy who brought us all our plants and trees when we landscaped, came over and righted all the plants a few days after the hurricane, and he helped us tie up and brace the palms. There were a couple of banana trees that looked like they might make it, so he righted them too. We will have a new palapa built, but the plants will take time to heal and get back to where they were. We are more sad about the ruined landscaping than the palapa carport.

IMG_0254Remnants of our carport…now piles of palapa leaves and poles

IMG_0277

To participate in the clean-up from the mess left in the wake of the storm, means working in hot and humid conditions. The bugs make it even worse. There are a bazillion hungry flies, mosquitos, and these things called bobos. They are a gnat-like insect that hover around your face in the hundreds. They get into your eyelashes, nose, ears, you end of inhaling or swallowing them and they love to go to any spot on your body that has a wound. For example: scratch a mosquito bite? It’s an invitation for a bobo to feast on you.  It makes sense to wear long sleeves and do like the Mexicans who put a handkerchieves on their heads before adorning their baseball caps, leaving the handkerchieves dangling down the sides of their faces and onto the back of their necks. If you don’t have tools in your hands, you can use a handkerchief to swish, snap, and swat all around your face and arms to keep the bugs off. It’s effective, but like I said, you can only do it if a hand is free for the handkerchief snapping exercise. Fatigue and stress has overwhelmed us.

One surprise we never expected was discovering the box in which we keep our important and legal documents wasn’t waterproof, and we found them soaking in four inches of water. They were sitting in that water for two days before we got around to investigating our “safe” box. Now we are trying to salvage them. Littering every surface all over the house are soggy papers as we attempt to dry them out.

IMG_0328

 

At our neighbor John’s house, almost all the windows and doors were blown out. Broken glass is everywhere. Doors burst apart and blew away. John’s kitchen cabinet drawers flew open, and filled with water. All his hanging lanterns were ripped from their chains, and smashed to the floor. We found his refrigerator tipped over and door panels lying everywhere along with the broken roof tiles, stools and chairs. His curtains were blowing in the breeze through the openings that used to be his windows. His outdoor furniture sailed off as if it had a different picnic to attend. He’s lucky. He has insurance, and for what it won’t cover he has enough money for repairs. We live in a gringo neighborhood, and most of us have either an income or a retirement fund from which to draw for repairs.

IMG_0225IMG_0224

IMG_0222

 

Our Mexican neighbors do not have much. The homeless, hungry, and those without power and water, are suffering. The youngest and the oldest are the most vulnerable. I have seen strength and determination on the faces, in the eyes, and the actions of the people in Todos Santos and El Pescadero. People still know how to wave, smile, and laugh in times like these. Everyone wants to know how you fared, if you need help. While there has been great destruction, there has also been an amazing show of strength and generosity.

And I know one thing more: I am no longer a hurricane virgin.

This Box of Me

Is it the string of my spine

and the bubble of my thoughts

that form the essence of the container?

This box of me?

 

Do the jumble of vibrations in this box strike black and white keys

to sound a discord…or a harmony?

When the vapor of life circles and swirls around me,

I might be courageous and take the challenge.

 

I allow my peanut butter and honey heart

to join in the movement of a dance!

It is the untamed dance of a wild woman.

A dance that is all mine! (within this box of me)

 

When I feel muffled in here, I just break up and away,

rise to the surface, emerge!

Oblique, random sprouting? Maybe.

Definitive, acute, isosceles? Maybe.

 

Perhaps I am a free-flow, spilling into cups,

but once in a while, there are snatches of insistence.

I hear their demands, “Take a ticket, stand in line,

answer me, think first, sit still, bite your tongue!”

 

Instead, in opposition, I sharpen my pencil tip,

and watch my steps–till I reach the sky.

I breathe deep, and allow the voices to come again.

Listening to further demands, “Perform, serve, nurture, give up, give in!”

 

But, ah, I must swim inside the pools of experience first.

Live life. Then die.

There’s a proper order, don’t you know?

And I ask merely to touch the golden ring—just once.

 

In the kitchen I bake compositions to satisfy my hunger.

Strange how it tickles, a little whisper of fun in here,

I feel it washing over me, still locked inside my box,

but with the gift of a treasure map now! (age has its rewards)

 

Joy, anxiety, love, guilt, grief, forgiveness, confusion, and competence,

all squirming, twirling, hanging-in-there—all of it

smashed inside this box,

inside this neat, happy, little box of me.

 

IMG_0139

 

 

 

For Anika

Scan 4Usually, I do not write poems that rhyme. They are more difficult for me–constraining. But I wrote this one for a student I had when I was teaching high school in WA State.

Anika was a teen-ager when we met, but she had already lived through a difficult time, and in some ways she was very grown up. There was anger and resentment boiling inside her; that was obvious from the beginning. Her tone and her stares could send chills down my spine. And oh! she could be so stubborn. At first I was nervous about how to be her teacher. English class isn’t all that exciting to some kids. But there was a vulnerability to her–a crack–an opening for me. I took the chance.

As it turned out, we worked well together; she would sometimes bring a friend and eat lunch in my room while I was busy working through my own lunch. She would often use one of the computers in my room to work on her German class homework and sometimes she would file papers for me instead of going straight home after school.

Anika did not enjoy reading all the novels I taught to my tenth graders. I know she didn’t read at home, but she usually engaged enough in class to get by. Though it wasn’t easy for either of us, we got through that year with a large measure of success, and she went on to graduate from high school two years later.

Anika was in recovery (alcohol) when she started 10th grade in my class. As a recovering alcoholic myself, I had an immediate connection to her. And so it was that when she celebrated her first anniversary of sobriety, I took her and three of her friends to dinner, and we attended her AA meeting that night. She stood in front of the audience with such grace. Standing so tall and straight, her smile and laughter filled the room, lifting our spirits.

She has had the courage to remain sober for seven years now (I think it’s seven), is married and her Facebook posts show her to be a happy young woman. The occasional message she sends fills me with hope that she will continue to learn and grow into the adult she wants to be. This poem is for Anika.

 

How do we learn

Our predilections?

Choices and turns

All those directions.

 

Searing through cracks

Into the spirit.

Though life attacks,

We must not fear it.

 

Greeting each day,

Embracing our lives,

Crafting the way,

Our happiness thrives.

 

Problems arise,

Answers will surface.

Seek the surprise

For our lives’ purpose.

 

Winning or lose,

Memory traces.

First seize our muse,

For pain it erases.

 

Writing the scene,

Not falling apart.

Calm and serene,

Embracing our hearts.