Don’t be a donkey!

It bugs me when people ask me a question and then don’t listen to my answer. You know the scenario, right? Instead of listening, the question-poser stops giving you eye contact, repeats, “uh huh” in a distracted and almost inaudible manner and tone, and either wanders away or on to a new topic. It’s disconcerting to me that someone would feign interest by posing a personal question and then not listen to the response. And, so as there is no misunderstanding, I’m not referring to the question, “How are you?” That’s a whole other issue.

I have always pondered the purpose of someone asking, “How are you?” if this someone doesn’t want an answer. Oh, I know, we ask it so automatically (I am guilty of it occasionally) that we don’t seem to expect an answer to that question, let alone want an answer. We just say, “Hi. How are you?”

When I was much younger,  I tried an experiment a few times. On an occasion of having a cold or flu when asked, “How are you?” I’ve answered, “Not very well.” Many times, before even a moment passes between the question and the answer,  the question-poser  (automatically) responds with, “Good.” or “That’s good.” In some instances even after this awkward exchange, he/she hasn’t acted like it was a weird encounter, thereby giving me the impression that he/she didn’t even engage enough to hear me.

Not to worry, however. I do not sit around and think about this kind of stuff often. In fact I am rather amused by the whole pet-peevy aspect of my being bugged about this in the first place. There are so many other things I could ruminate about. Things that might even be worthwhile. Some things do matter in the long run.

Like KIVA for instance. Now there’s something worth ruminating about. Kiva empowers people all over the world by securing loans from the likes of you and me. Kiva gives anyone with an internet connection the opportunity to make a loan as small as $25 to someone else to start or grow a business, afford school, build a house, switch to clean energy and much more.  It’s the familiar “help people help themselves” philosophy. Check it out at: www.kiva.org

I’ve taken up plenty of your time. But I do want to know: What bugs you?

I promise to listen to your answer.

I’m not really a crab. This is a crab.