Mom: Sometimes quitting is a respectable option. Stop chewing your fingernails, Johnny.

Mom to herself: Oh that boy. How many times have I admonished? A 12-year-old boy should be smart enough to figure it out. Will he ever learn?

Mom: Johnny, come in for dinner. Be sure to wash your hands.

Johnny:(under his breath) I’d like to wash my hands of your nagging.

Mom I heard that, young man. Don’t be cheeky.

Johnny to himself: Geez, that wasn’t as under my breath as I thought. Maybe she has super-human hearing.

Johnny: What’s for dinner, Mom?

Mom: Liver Surprise, your favorite. (cackles)

Johnny, 20 years later: Yes, Mom. I quit drinking. It’s been 2 weeks since I had any alcohol of any kind. Yes, Mom. I know quitting can be a respectable option. Thank you.

Johnny to himself: She’s still telling me what to do or advising me, as she puts it. Booze is the hardest thing to quit. How did I get here? Am I really never going to have another drink?

“One day at a time.”