What do you think sobriety is? Do you think it’s just not drinking? Of course it’s not drinking. But it’s so much more than that. 

Sobriety is a journey of rediscovering yourself. I had to admit I was powerless over alcohol. I  had to do the work to get sober, but this work provided a magical self reconnection, a resetting, and resting in recovery. I found financial wellness, educated myself in many areas, and began prioritizing self-care. 

In sobriety we learn how to set boundaries and find purpose In our lives. Instead of playing old narratives and blaming others, we accept responsibility and we grow and learn how to match our values with our intentions. 

In order to manage stress in healthy ways, we may find ways to learn new things. I have taken up yoga, meditation, and expressing myself in creative endeavors like watercolor, and making shell sculptures, writing and illustrating children’s books. At my age, I know how important it is to keep moving! Exercise class on the beach once a week, yoga three times a week, and walking every single day.

The routine I’ve set for myself is to get up very early, make my bed, grab the coffee that Greg has made for me as we head to the beach with our dog. Feeling my feet in the sand, watching the sunrise, seeing and hearing the waves crash on the shore, witnessing whales breeching, and seeing female turtles laying eggs, and then, in time, baby turtles hatching before working to get to the ocean. Blessings abound, and gratitude swells.

Drinking alcohol is giving up everything for one thing, while sobriety is giving up one thing for everything. I’ve been sober for 45 years and 8 months. This journey has taught me to live one day at a time. It’s not always easy, because life isn’t easy. There is always something. But now I have the clear headedness and courage to face whatever problems present themselves. It’s easier to have a graceful approach to problems without the alcohol clouding my brain. And matching my values with my intentions, as I mentioned already, is my ticket to a better life. 

Am I perfect? Hell no. I work on myself all the time. If I’m upset with someone, and I want to react, instead of pausing and using my words with integrity, I can ask myself, “Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said right now?” I admit that I still have trouble with this. Many times I’ve said things in anger that I can never take back. 

But I’m getting better. With a more cheerful attitude I can sustain powerful responses.

It’s also my intention to appreciate more of what is, instead of wanting things to be different. (My way). If I can’t control something, I can work on my breathing, and remember to have patience with myself as I learn to let go, to embrace calm. I want to control my thoughts and actions. Controlling myself is a big job, and a good focus for me. Most of the time I have less distortion, and I accept the small joys of being alive.

What is sobriety? Not drinking. Yes. But in these sober years, I stop to notice how much better I feel. I savor my life now. I want to be more loving and slower to anger, to take longer to eat my meals, to taste before I swallow. Now I realize how precious and rewarding living a sober life can be—it’s pure freedom. I can be as happy as I allow myself to be.

If you think drinking has become a problem and you’ve been toying with the idea of sobriety, there is a lot of help out there. Many 12 step programs, including AA. Give it a shot. You have everything to gain by giving up that one thing—alcohol.